By now, you know the story of the Mother Letter Project. See the FAQs for more information. Don’t forget to tell us if you are writing or donating.
For today’s Wednesday mother letter, I am posting an excerpt of the letter submitted for the Christmas project by Robin at Pensieve. Robin has helped promote this project in phenomenal ways, including introducing me to Sugar and Jen on Chicks Who Chat yesterday.
Robin was the only woman who wrote about, ahem… well, you know. I am not publishing that portion of the letter today, but have opted to post her words on marriage. Please understand that this is not a comment on single parenting. We all find ourselves in different situations, and by grace, we make the best of them. However, if you are married, take the time to reflect on Robin’s advice. Then, drop a comment or two and let us know what you think.
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Dear Mother,
I knew I had to participate by writing a letter, but what to say that isn’t going to be said “better” by others? It’s not a competition by any means, but I didn’t want to be redundant. In the end, these are the thoughts that persisted; I hope in some way, at some time, they’ll have significance to you or someone who “needs” to hear them. … I’m writing these as reminders to me, too.
Guard your marriage.
…I’m realizing that loving my husband well and modeling a healthy marriage is one of the best gifts I can give my children. …I think there’s danger in marital complacency, and if you aren’t careful, the little things can erode even the best of foundations. Issues can arise “overnight” that have actually been years in the making.
Married 21 years, we’ve had our share of both high and low points; times when love was emotionally-charged and full of romance, but also when “love” was spelled c-o-m-m-i-t-m-e-n-t, when we didn’t like each other very much, even when I imagined being single was a better alternative.
You can never be too careful about caring for your husband, your marriage. Your husband must come before everything—your children, writing, home, and others. He’s got to know this by your actions, not your words. Know his love language and speak it often.
…
Take these actions and it leaves little room for “other distractions” to creep in.
Sincerely,
Robin
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Awesome advice! I see many ladies getting pulled into Twitter and other online social activities and wonder if they are neglecting their husbands and families like I’ve done. Thankfully my husband has let me know when he needs attention and I get off the computer. I’m trying to do that more on my own so he doesn’t have to tell me.
I agree, 100%. So many times couples become parents only, forgetting the husband and wife they were before they were parents. Nourishing our marriages is the most important gift we can give our children, after faith (which we can’t really give anyway).
Amen!
Thank you! I really appreciate Robin’s honesty about the need to maintain your marriage even when it’s tough. It’s important for people to know real people who struggle and pull through. I love my husband dearly, but we’ve certainly had times when love was a choice.
Great post!
Yikes…I feel kind of exposed all of a sudden. Did I really sign the letter “Sincerely”??? I mean, I WAS sincere in all I wrote, but “SINCERELY”??? That hardly characterizes the affection I have for Amber. Then again, it was before I knew her, but still…:).
I don’t think I would’ve minded the omitted parts being included; only because I think that might’ve been something one or two others could’ve benefited from hearing. Of course, it’s best to err on the side of caution, and good gracious–I don’t wanna be the reason for scary google searches!
I LOVE what’s happening with the Mother Letter Project; in fact, I “saw” some of this coming from the moment Shannon first introduced “Danny” to me. It spoke to my heart–LOUDLY–and I knew–just KNEW–it would speak to others :).
Love y’all…and thanks, Seth, for having the sensitivity to let your readers know I was speaking to those in marriage :). That’s the only life I know as a mom.
So, here’s the deal. I might have taken some liberties with “Sincerely”. I’m not really sure how you signed it, but it wasn’t sincerely. Sorry about that.
How ’bout with affection, or Your Best Blog-Mama, or That’s All I Have To Say About That?
I adore Robin and she writes so beautifully and truly. HEr soul truly does sing and touches others.
Thanks for including this for all to read.
so well written, and speaks to me. as robin says, what a gift to give our children: a healthy marriage!
I recently have been feeling convicted about the lack of attention I have put into my marriage, this post just may light the fire under me that I need. Thanks!
this is so very true……… i have attended a ladies feminar once a year put on by a local church and on that friday night we discuss that same subject……….if we dont take care of our man in all aspects of life someone will…………………….